Fixing Things

Hallo, blogosphere friends. You’ll be happy to know that my good friend, J-boy, has helped me rescue everything off the hard drive that almost died in the historic steam pipe explosion 2010. Computer woes solved. Paintings fixed. Jen Junior saved. Seems like the mess is cleaned up. (Still dealing with my mental mess!) What this means for you, my loyal readers, is that I now have years worth of writing at my disposal. Looking back, I am personally awed by my own prolific output of ridiculousness. Am LOL-ing at many of the press releases and obviously the nostalgia factor means this is taking forevs. Will try to post as much as I can. This one, I just found. It’s a press release for JJ’s 5th birthday party. Written by JJ:

A Celebratory Anti-Slam in honor of Rev. Jen Junior’s 5th Birthday:

Reverend Jen Junior’s Black and White Ball!

At Mo Pitkin’s, 34 Avenue A (212)777-5660 (F to 2nd Avenue)

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

9:30 pm, performers get 6 minutes

4 dollars

Now that I five year old, my mama say I old enough to write my own press release so even though I’m busy acting and modeling I guess I have to do so. (I really need a personal assistant.) Even though I not really know why it necessary since I so popular that everyone already know about my party. Still it can’t hurt. (I won the “most popular” award at Bowery Poetry Club.)

Anyway, I’m gonna be five! Seems like just yesterday I only weigh a pound and get to ride around in pocket! And since I’m getting older I want to do sumthing classy. My birthday fall on a Wednesday, which is the same night as the anti-slam, so I decide to have my party there. And it going to be like Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball! (There’ll still be an open mike, but I’d really like it a lot if performers dress in black or white formal wear (not required) and pen poems and tributes to me. And if they too lazy to do that, just get me gift.

As far as gift go, it’s the thought that count but here are some thing I like: outfit, toy, and treat (though the vet say I get a little heavy and people call me the “Liz Taylor of the art star scene” I been doing wind-sprints and totally getting in shape.) Also, more than anything, I like ATTENTION. If you don’t pay me the appropriate amount of attention on my birthday, you will be asked to leave. Period.

Now, what else? Oh yeah, um, I like other dog, but Mo Pitkin is restaurant and I don’t think they like it too much if I turn it into dirty, urine-covered dog run, so leave your bitches at home! Really it’s just gonna be me and my BF, Taco. THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY CLASSY EVENT.

And the perfect way to celebrate what an amazing year I’ve had. Just this year alone: I starred in a Moby video, hosted the dog Halloween parade and continued my success on the hit TV show, The Adventures of Electra Elf.

How cool am I? If you’ve been to my birthday parties before, you know they are always the social event of the season. SO DON’T MISS IT.


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