On Life

On Life

I have been “on life” for 38 years now and I’m waiting for the high to kick in. I’m waiting for this stuff to work as well as booze or cigs or drugs or even caffeine or sugar or religion. Not that religion ever worked for me, but it works for some people because they love to pray and they sometimes talk in tongues the way I do when I’m wasted. Love also works, but only for a little while and just like drugs, there’s always a crash. Sex also works sometimes but a lot of it is bad and I’d rather have a can of warm Milwaukee’s Best than bad sex. Sports work for some people, shopping for others. In fact, pretty much everything people do, outside of basic survival, has been classified as a “drug” by someone at some point so I think it’s a fair assessment that we all live for drugs. This is one of my theories on life, which I am an expert on since I am on life at the moment.

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