Archive for February, 2010

Work

February 22, 2010

This is my 22nd straight day working and right now my lower back is about to give out. Trying to work like mad since I’ll basically be out of a job in March (though I’ll still have my one day a week shift at the Tenement Museum.)

My first day off is the 26th. Sister is coming to town and I sincerely cannot wait.

Right now, deep tissue massage is desperately needed.

Blood Oranges

February 22, 2010

I love blood oranges. Kind of wishing I had a blood orange mimosa right now. And a donut. And a servant to go get me these things.

Picture of the Day

February 22, 2010

Bringing back “picture of the day”…not so easy considering all my pics were on the old, dead computer whose contents are being held for ransom at the Mac Genius Bar. But I do have some great ones of the wreckage.

Estelle

February 22, 2010

I love my friend, Holly, for running Waggytail Rescue. She just sent me a story about their most recent rescue, Estelle. So frigging cute.

Deep Thought of the Day

February 19, 2010

“Believing musicians can be decent boyfriends is like believing unicorns are real; it’s just something you have to outgrow.” — Rev. Jen

More!

February 18, 2010

Edited the bit I started writing and didn’t want to hit “edit” because that seems like cheating, but this got to the heart of what I wanted to say about love. (Sorry, I know it’s a bit late since V-Day was 3 days ago…)

LOVE

Due to some planetary fuck up in my astrological chart, astrologers tell me I know exactly what I want in every area of my life except for love. And this is true. This is why I can tell you about the next 20 paintings and books I’m going to complete but I can’t tell you if I think I’ll ever marry or what kind of man I want to marry or whether or not it’ll even be a man. People therefore often assume I’m not thinking about the future, which isn’t true. I think about the future all the time, it’s just that when I do, it’s full of art not love. That said, I’ve always guessed that I would know what I wanted in love when it, he or she appeared. I would know what I wanted when I didn’t want it, he or she to then disappear.

And this idea that I might not want someone to someday disappear connotes all of the things that scare me, namely neediness and egolessness, a love so strong that I might want to disappear.

So perhaps it’s not really a planetary fuck up at all but plain old simple fear.

I am afraid of love.

Love, so they say, conquers all, and how can something that conquers all not be the most terrifying thing on the planet?

Maybe real love is what happens when you aren’t afraid of being conquered. It’s like putting your own shackles on because the conqueror is so beautiful you can’t resist being its slave.

I’m Back

February 18, 2010

Am back from my long, non-blogging/cleaning up the disaster while simultaneously writing a column and working two jobs break. And this ain’t gonna be a long post. One of my jobs (working for a sex therapist in midtown) is ending because the therapist is very ill and retiring so I’ve spent the past several hours applying for jobs online and I feel like my eyes are gonna fall out. *However* I’ve also been trying to work on my latest book, which kind of picks up where Live Nude Elf left off. Was just now writing about love and I wrote this tiny bit. More to come probably also on love because it’s what I’ve been writing about as of this minute:

Due to some planetary fuck up in my astrological chart, astrologers tell me I know exactly what I want in every area of my life except for love. And this is true. This is why I can tell you about the next 20 paintings and books I’m going to complete but I can’t tell you if I think I’ll ever marry or what kind of man I want to marry or whether or not it’ll even be a man. People therefore often assume I’m not thinking about the future, which isn’t true. I think about the future all the time, it’s just that when I do, it’s full of art not love. That said, I’ve always guessed that I would know what I wanted in love when it, he or she appeared. I would know what I wanted when I didn’t want it, he or she to then disappear.

And this idea that I might not want someone to someday disappear connotes all of the things that scare me, namely neediness and egolessness, a love so strong that I might want to disappear.

So perhaps it’s not really a planetary fuck up at all but plain old simple fear.

I am afraid of love.

Got a Computer!

February 12, 2010

Faceboy’s sister gave me her old laptop! Yay. My blog has survived a disaster!!! And even better news…my latest artnet column is up here.

Devastation at the Troll Museum

February 6, 2010

Haven’t posted in a while because of a massive steam pipe explosion in my apartment. Was very scary and my computer is now dead. (Am writing this from work…)

Am too exhausted, listless, depressed to write much more.

Puss

February 1, 2010

Mike Amato as Puss in Boots