Archive for January, 2010

LES Price is Wrong

January 31, 2010

For a while, it was called Lower East Side Price is Right but I got a cease and desist from CBS and had to change the name. Found some pics:

This was a game called “Walk-Ups” similar to the alpine climber game, but here you don’t want the hipster to go over the walk-up. Note his walking stick is a hypodermic needle.

more EE

January 31, 2010

With JJ, Barbie Doll and Nico.

Cleaning My Computer

January 31, 2010

Lately, my computer has been a complete candy ass so I’m cleaning it out, throwing away pics where I look fat or have bad hair along with all kinds of other stuff. It’s like an archeological dig, as I’m finding scripts I don’t remember writing and pictures I don’t remember posing for. Kind of making me sad because I’m realizing that Nick and I did start shooting the Electra Elf feature but it seemed like we would never find enough funding or be able to get it together. Making a feature while trying to hold down two jobs and promote a book…not so easy. (That and Nick and I get along about as well as Lucy and Desi at the end of their collaboration. ) Tragic, in many ways, because I spent 8 months on the script and (I think) it’s brilliant.

Anyway, I found these pics from the last episode we ever shot…memories…

That’s not CGI. I’m really attached to a giant target!

at work…

January 30, 2010

Working at the museum today. Once again, they are saving my ass from destitution.

The Case for Signing Your Paintings and Being a Bitch

January 30, 2010

Today I woke up and thought, I’m not going to be a bitch today. This, it turns out, is impossible.

After cleaning, I walked over to the Suffolk to collect my painting, which I’d been told I could leave on display there and pick up this eve. The bartender who was very nice told me she thought it was in the security office so she went into the office and talked to the guard. When she came back to the bar she said, “He won’t give it to me. He’ll only give it to you.”

So I went into the office. The security guard said, “I can’t give you your painting. Not until the guy from PBR tells me I can.” He was smirking in the manner that all low-level fascist rent-a-cops do when they are denying you something.

“But he told me yesterday I could pick it up today. It’s 14-degrees out and I really don’t wanna walk over here again. Lemme try to get his number and call him.”

Back at the bar I asked if they had the rep’s number, but no one did.

“I’m trying *really* hard not to be a bitch today, but that guard is a dick,” I said.

“I know,” said the bartender, “He’s a dick to me too.”

“Not sure what I should do.”

“Just be a bitch.”


Into the guard’s little room I went.

“This is completely ridiculous,” I began. “I am not trying to commit an art heist and my painting is signed and I have ID so you’re going to have to turn over my art. I need it.” (Not sure why I claimed I needed it, but I sure as shit didn’t need to walk over there again in this cold.) I was prepared to refuse to leave until I had my painting, but I didn’t need to. Simply demanding rather than asking did the trick and a minute later, the guard was handing over my art.

Trying not to be a bitch was a stupid idea.

Damn you, wordpress!

January 29, 2010

I just wrote a whole frigging blog entry and it “failed to post.” Now it’s lost in the ether. Should have saved/copied it but I’m just learning this whole blog business. Today is a rare, splendid day, a day off that comes after several days of sleeplessness due to work, the open mike, a gas leak in my apartment and the effort required to finish my PBR masterpiece:

I’ll take my $1,893 and year of beer now!

Last night Faceboy dropped it off at the bar where the competition was being held. Lots of young hipsters with giant holes in their ears drinking free PBR and viewing it as if it were a Botticelli. Amazing I managed to finish it because I was down to the wire, speed painting, when my olfactory sense was overwhelmed by the smell of noxious gas coming from the tiny bathroom at the front of the apartment (though it’s technically in my apartment it’s more like an outhouse, freezing and so small you can’t really do anything in there except use the toilet and read a selection of books I’ve stashed there since I don’t have room anywhere else.) I called Con Ed and they told me I had to wait for them in the hallway since they didn’t want Jen Junior and me dying in a fiery explosion. I took JJ and my paints into the hallway and waited. It only took them a few minutes to arrive whereupon the gas detection thingy started beeping crazily. Wasn’t the first time I’d called because of a gas smell and though they never detected anything in the past most visitors have noted the scent and I’m convinced it’s been poisoning me for years. Well, it’s fixed now and I’m counting my blessings that no one died in a bong-related accident at the last party…

I just slept for 12 hours, had three cups of coffee and am now going to clean and organize my very messy apartment then maybe look for a job. (Though my boss hadn’t anticipated she’d be able to work for at least 2 more weeks so I’m not totally unemployed yet.)

Also…off subject…my friend, Courtney, just reminded me of these photos, which were taken by a dude from Seattle who followed me around for several days, documenting my life. This was the beginning of October, before shit hit the fan. Kind of nice to remember a more carefree time.

Now I’m off to clean! (I love cleaning, btw, and am thinking of becoming a maid.)

A Small Rant

January 27, 2010

I promise not to rant too much here. I don’t want my blog to become a catalog of whining. HOWEVER, I need to put this out there.

If you call me and say, “Hey, Rev. Wanna hang out/wanna come to my show/wanna go to a movie?” I will most likely say no and most likely IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Take a step back and please observe for a moment: I am the busiest art star alive. I don’t have time to do any of these things (movies, hangin’, shows) because I am either making art, working or looking for work. In a perfect world, I would have either a trust fund or a huge book deal and I would be able to make my art and also have free time, but like you, I live in an imperfect world where I have to work.

Not to mention, a couple of years ago the insane pace of my life led to me developing panic disorder, which I now have under control. But if I push myself and exhaust myself too much it comes back and I have to pop Xanax and turn into a zombie and don’t get too much done in those instances. This is exacerbated by emotional exhaustion. SO, if you want me to avoid the psych ward, please go easy on me!

Why am I ranting like this? Two nights ago, a friend who is doing a show messaged me: Wanna come to my show tonight? I can comp you. I messaged back that I was not feeling so well and had a lot to do (was in the midst of PBR art deadline/menstruation/anemia horror) and I declined. She messaged back that her feelings were hurt because I hadn’t come to her show. Though I don’t like to discuss feelings via messaging, I messaged back a lil reminder that I’ve had a tough time lately: My dad died, then my aunt died, then my dog needed surgery then I found out I’m losing my job and might therefore have to sublet my apartment and move back to MD and work at Target for the rest of my life. Hence, not really in the mood for yukkin’ it up. She messaged back: You’re not the only one who has lost someone lately.

WTF?!! I expected, Take the time you need to heal. (Or something like that.) But all of a sudden I am a bad person for taking time to myself to address my own suffering. As if I didn’t fucking know that other people are suffering! Jesus H. Christ: EVERY TIME I TURN ON THE TV. (Oh wait…my TV is broken, but you get the idea.) My friend lost her grandpa this year and of course, I feel bad for her and of course I feel bad for anyone who has lost anyone this year. In fact, I feel bad for every sentient creature on the planet because everyone suffers at one point or another. I lost ALL of my grandparents as a child and there are nights when I suffer thinking I wish I’d gotten to grow older with them. THE WORLD IS FULL OF LOSS AND SUFFERING. I understand. But it does not diminish my sadness, my need to be alone, my need to feel sane. It doesn’t make the memories of the days and nights when I watched my father struggle for every breath hurt less. Don’t belittle what I just went through.

And that is why I need a fucking break. That is why, I don’t take it personally when my friends can’t come to my shows or hang out with me. That is why I’m pissed off today.

Feminist Review Review

January 27, 2010

Here’s one I forgot.

PBR Art Contest

January 27, 2010

Have I mentioned that I’ve fallen off the face of the earth in order to devote every waking second to winning the upcoming Pabst Blue Ribbon art contest? The prize is $1,893 and a year’s worth of beer. I’m not sure what they mean by a “year’s worth of beer” but this could end up being the most expensive work of art ever made. Problem is I only found out about the contest Friday and the clock is ticking! Normally when I paint, I’ll dwell on one square inch of skin for three hours or even days, but this deadline makes that technique impossible.

And today/night I’m stuck at work here at the Therapy Center (a job I’ll be losing in a week) and am writing this post in between patients. Speaking of which, I’ve had an extra long break so I went to Border’s and was flipping through Chris O’Dell’s new book, which contained a picture of George Harrison next to a troll! This PROVES my theory that the Beatles owned trolls and that I might in fact, have a troll that once belonged to Ringo Starr.

Every time I go to Border’s I am astounded by the amount of Twilight merch there. I used to feel a pang of envy toward Stephanie Meyer who now must be a very rich woman, but these days I realize that even though I’m broke, about to lose my job and have no idea where my rent is going to come from, I get to live my life, which is pretty fun, probably more fun than the life of a Mormon teen-vampire-book writer. (I say this as a fan of Twilight, btw.) So feeling OK despite everything. Just wanna go home and paint!


January 22, 2010

Miraculously, now that I’m unemployed I have even less free time than I did before so no lengthy posts today. However, I’ll be on Keith and the Girl tonight at midnight if you wanna listen!